


Never Let You Go

by pvnicing



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), infinity war theory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 03:08:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14707962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pvnicing/pseuds/pvnicing
Summary: After the battle against Thanos Steve is left broken and hopeless. With the help of his friends he is fighting to bring back the one person he can't live without. But what has really happened as Thanos snapped his fingers? Who really knows the whole truth?





	Never Let You Go

A familiar atmosphere is surrounding him and he can hear multiple people arguing behind the peculiar walls, though he can not make out who it is. Not that it particularly interests him. As he sees the man approaching he stands up to greet him. 

„I am -“

„Loki, Son of Laufey, God of Mischief. I know. We’ve met.“

„Yes, I remember. Though it is not a very pleasant memory of mine.“

Stephen grins as he thinks back to their first encounter.

„And it’s Odinson, by the way.“

„So we’ve overcome our little family-drama then?“

„I did not come to talk about family.“

„So I figured.“

A moment of silence falls between the men. Stephen wonders whether Loki wants him to ask exactly why he’s come but he figures he will tell him either way. His appearance surprises Stephen as his first impression of the god was a very different one from the one he gets now. His hair looks shaggy and his robes are torn. He clearly did not make an attempt to create an illusion more fitting to his reputation. He looks tired and maybe even a little bit scared.

„We are in danger,“ Loki says after a little while.

„Thanos. Yes, I know. I have had the pleasure of meeting some of his children.“

„Then you know our chances of defeating him are very small.“

„Very, yes.“ 

Loki looks around the empty place. He slowly turns to take in the whole picture. Stephen closes his eyes for a second to listen to the Guardians and their new friends. He is in no hurry. Stark seems to be talking to Quill, though he could be wrong. 

„Where are we?“ Loki asks after a while.

„It’s called the Mirror Dimension. We are undisturbed here,“ he explains.

„So I take it you have been expecting me.“

He glances down at the time stone around his neck. „If you want to call it that.“

Loki’s eyes also seem to be fixed on it. Stephen looks at him. He pauses, thinking.  
„Why are you here?“

—

The ground feels cold as Steve reaches out to lay his hand on the ashes that only moments before used to be his best friend. He closes his eyes as he feels his heart racing. He sits very calmly and tries to take deep breaths but he can’t stop the tears from coming. His throat is closing up and it’s getting hard for him to breathe. 

This is not real.  
This is not not happening.  
This can’t be happening.  
Not again.

„Steve?“ 

By the mention of his name he spins around. Tears are hindering his vision but he can make out Natasha squatting beside him, reaching out but not quite touching him. She looks like she wants to say more but can’t find the right words. As a response Steve just shakes his head and blinks the tears away. He looks back at the ground and runs his fingers through the ashes before straightening up. He’s shaking now and his legs feel like they could give in again any second. His friend catches him as he falls forward and takes him into her arms. Steve buries his head in her shoulder and lets her embrace comfort him.  
„It’s just not fair, Nat…“ 

„I know,“ she whispers, holding him closer.

„Why couldn’t I go with him? Just this once…“

She pulls away, steadying him by laying her hands on his shoulders. „You don’t know what you’re saying, Steve.“

„You know that’s not true. I’ve lost him before. Back in the 40’s, with Hydra, the Cryo…I just can’t do this again… I can’t…“ 

„I know. But what I also know is that he wouldn’t want you to say stuff like that.“ Her voice is soft but he knows she’s upset.

„He was my best friend. He’ll always be.“ Steve takes a step back, wipes his tears away with the back of his hands and looks around. „Where are the others?“

They realise suddenly how quiet it is. There is only the soft rustling of the trees of Wakanda. He starts running, looking for anybody. As much as he is hurt he needs to make sure the others are safe. He hears Natasha somewhere behind him, calling for him, calling for the others. 

Thor had been with them, hadn’t he? And Bruce? He can’t remember, his head hurts. Everything is spinning. He remembers Wanda. And Vision. He should have met them by now. He runs through woods and trips over stumps but he can’t stop. Not until he’s found someone. He doesn’t know where he is anymore or which direction he’s come from. Nothing looks familiar. He must’ve walked through these woods all the time when he was visiting Bucky but everything looks the same now. He suddenly feels someone bumping into him, almost knocking him off his feet. 

„Captain?“ 

Steve spins around to face a muscular, blonde man. „Thor?“ A smile spreads across his face as he looks him up and down to check for any injuries. „Thank god, you’re alive!“

„Hey, Cap.“ Rhodes steps up behind him. He looks seriously shaken up. „Good to see you.“

„Rhodey.“ Cap nods at him.

„Have you seen anyone else? I don’t know what happened.“

„Thanos happened.“ Rhodes pauses to look around to listen for voices before going on. „Sam was right in front of me and then he was just gone. Vaporized.“

„Yeah, I know what you’re talking about. The same thing happened to Bucky.“

Thor puts a firm hand on Steve’s shoulder to show him his sympathy. „Banner and I, we split from the group to look for others before it’s too late.“ 

The three men stand there awkwardly, thinking.  
„So, Thanos really did it.“

—

They find Natasha, Bruce and Rocket near the battle field where people are running around terrified. They are quietly sitting on the grass. Though no one is saying a thing the mere presence of the others seems to give them strength.  
Thor and Rhodey decide to keep looking but they convince Steve to get some rest. He tries to contradict at first but he can feel his head getting heavier and he wishes for nothing more than a long and dreamless sleep.  
He motions to Nat that he is going to lay down and she gives him a weak nod in response. Bruce has fallen asleep next to her, his head is lying on her shoulder. Steve is glad the two of them are alright after what happened between them.

His feet carry him over flatted grass that seems like a reminder to him of what has happened only moments before. He doesn't know where Thanos’ army went and he really doesn't care. All he cares about now is clearing his mind so he can figure out how to make things right. It has always been something that makes him Steve. He knows he can’t fix everything but he will always at least try. He has dealt with a lot and has always found a way or people that could help him, but this might be not so easy. This is the biggest thing to ever happen to him - to anyone - and though he doesn’t feel like he’s strong enough to deal with it he knows that he will. Not for him, but for everyone. Most importantly for Bucky. He’s lived a life with him and he’s lived a life without him and he just can’t imagine going through all of this without his best friend by his side. 

The sun is setting when he enters his room. It throws a warm light on the linen sheets on his bed and it makes him feel just a little bit comforted. Once he gets out of his suit he sits down on the bed and runs his hands over his face. He can see the woods from his window and he tries not to think about the ashes lying somewhere down there. Maybe he should have taken some of it with him. It’s still Bucky after all. He’s left him alone. Left him to be carried away by the night wind. 

Why couldn’t I go with you?

He stays like this for a while, thinking, until he can feel his eyelids getting heavier. He lays back, lowers his head onto the pillow and let’s his mind go away from today. It doesn’t take long until the warmth of the sunlight and the sounds of the wind make him fall asleep. 

— 

As Bucky opens his eyes he is immediately struck by the intensity of light that turns the whole place into a field of gold.

„It has three moons,“ someone next to him whispers.

His sits up and looks to see who has spoken. A woman with what seems like antennas on her head is leaning over to a huge, muscular man with blue skin and scars all over his body which remind Bucky a lot of tattoos. 

„Where the hell am I?“ he sighs and looks around. It really does look like a field. He is surrounded by some kind of alien corn and he can see no trees around anywhere. What he can see though are people. Loads and loads of people. Some of them lying on the ground unconscious, some walking around quietly or talking. 

The woman with the antennas turns around and looks at him with her big black eyes. „You are awake,“ she says with a slim but friendly smile.

„What is this?“ Bucky asks, afraid of the answer.

„I’m thinking…“ the man with the blue skin begins, „death.“ 

Bucky thinks he must be kidding but the man looks at him with a serious expression.  
So death is just a place with a bunch of weird people, huh…

„In a way you are correct,“ says a new voice. Someone is standing in front of them. Bucky hasn‘t even seen him coming. The guy is wearing long robes and his long black hair is sleeked back. He looks down on them in a very superior way which Bucky doesn‘t like at all. He gets on his feet to face him. His opponent just grins. 

„Loki Odinson of Asgard, the rightful heir of Jotunheim, God of mischief.“ 

What a name, he thinks, but it does ring a bell.

„I’ve heard of you.“

„Not just good things I imagine.“ Though he is clearly enjoying being the only one who seems to know what’s going on Bucky doesn’t think he wants to do them any harm.

„Not exactly.“ 

Loki nods but it seems as though he has hoped for a different answer but he doesn’t seem to want to get deeper into it. 

Yeah, well, we do have other problems right now.  
Why I am on this weird ass planet for example.

Without Bucky asking, he begins to explain.

—

They are going on patrol to look for injured people. Okoye and M’Baku are leading the two groups so no one can get lost.  
Steve is holding his gun though it feels unnecessary considering the absence of any signs of danger. He can truly feel the „calm after the storm“. He is walking behind king T’Challas younger sister who he can tell has been crying. Bruce is next to him, looking irritated.

„Do you think the others are fine? Tony? And the kid?“

Steve flinches a bit at the mention of Tony’s name. „I wouldn’t bet on it. There’s a 50/50 chance they’re dead.“ 

There hasn’t been any sign of them overnight but Steve suspects someone will get in touch with them if anyone survived. Though Tony and him aren’t exactly best friends anymore he does feel a pain in his chest just thinking about the possibility of him being dead. The Avengers are his family after all. So far he knows of five deaths: Bucky, Sam, Wanda, T’Challa and Groot. He knows there is nothing he could have done but he still feels guilty. He considers both Bucky and Sam his best friends. He helped Wanda find a home while always trying to protect her. T’Challa has been a good friend to him and Bucky over the past few years and though he didn’t get to know Groot he can see the expression on Rockets face which shows that he was loved. 

No one in the group is saying anything which makes Steve feel uneasy. They are passing the woods from last night and he can feel his heart racing. He can see him again. He sees how he looks at him with this panicked expression. He can hear him say his name. Steve? It happens too fast, just as it did yesterday. Before Steve can reach out to him he falls forward, only leaving a pile of ash behind. The same pile of ash that is on the ground next to him again right now. Or at least it should be. The ground is clean, only a thin coat of dew covering the grass. He is on the verge of crying again. It’s gone. All that was left of him. His eyes are fixed on the spot where Bucky should be standing right now.  
He can feel a heavy hand on his shoulder. 

„I know how you feel.“ For the first time Steve can see pain in Thor’s eyes. He could never quite imagine him having personal problems that could affect him like this. He has always seen him as this mighty god that stands way above human emotions. Thor has always been the strongest Avenger to him. But the way he looks at him now he can see that he has lost everything. Steve doesn’t even have to ask to know what has happened.

„Thanos took everything, my friend. It’s time we take revenge and show him how that feels like.“ 

„I know how much Loki meant to you, Thor. I’m sorry.“ He lays his hand on Thor’s shoulder, exactly as he has done. 

„It’s not like he hasn’t died before. Who knows, he might come back.“ He grins at Steve, patting his shoulder to tell him they should get going. The others are already far ahead of them. 

„And if not, we will revenge him. We will revenge your friend too. All of them.“ He pauses, smiling to himself before saying, „We are the Revengers.“

Steve looks at him, confused. „I’m sorry?“

„Oh it’s just,“ Thor laughs a bit. „You guys didn’t exactly invite me to your little fight a while ago so I decided to put together a new team. It was Loki, Banner, a new friend of mine and I.“ He smiles at the memory and Steve can’t help but feel a little bit left out. But he guesses that’s how he must’ve felt. He might not really have known Thor at all.  
The two of them join the others and walk together for a while, not saying a word but finding comfort in the company of the other.  
Steve is happy he still has friends like Thor that he can trust. People that have his back. He knows that with friends like him he can find the strength to face Thanos again and maybe to even bring back the ones he‘s lost.


End file.
